


This Heart of Mine

by crna_macka



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crna_macka/pseuds/crna_macka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicole didn't say "I love you" back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Heart of Mine

**Author's Note:**

> If you think you see it, you probably do.

_Kind of,_ Waverly said. Before Nicole got shot, before pleading, _I love her._

Literally seconds between kind-of-girlfriends and _love._

Nicole is _kind of_ grateful that being shot gives her an excuse to stay in her apartment after she does another round in the hospital. What she loves is the long moments of respite strung together, despite her worries, despite knowing now that Purgatory's reputation suits its name. She can turn her music on low and relax in an old Whitecaps sweatshirt that reminds her of college while making a proper dinner for once. She's texted Waverly, telling her not to worry, all Nicole needs is some rest and Waverly has much bigger concerns right now. It's a cop-out, but it isn't a lie. Nicole needs to wrap her head around everything before going back to work, and having to breathe in the air of confusion that surrounds Waverly isn't going to help.

After dinner, her phone rings. And that's a genuine kind of love: her sister calling to check up on her. Her own sister, who is miles away from all of this until she offers to come visit over the weekend - and Nicole scrambles to come up with all the right reasons that no, Haley really doesn't need to come all this way. It's winter, there isn't really room for two adults and two kids in the apartment, the hotel is closed for renovations, it's fine, really -

There's someone at the door, knocking, and Nicole uses that to excuse rushing off the phone, saying her insistent goodbyes and barely hanging up before realizing it's Wynonna Earp standing on her welcome mat. Heavy coat, ripped jeans, and breeze tousled hair, with her breath curling in the cold evening air. The woman shrugs and splays her hands without taking them out of her pockets, asking, "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Sure, yeah," Nicole says, closing her gaping mouth. She isn't surprised to see Wynonna - well, she _is_ , but more because Wynonna should be with her sister, at the homestead or the precinct. Wynonna shouldn't even know where Nicole lives, unless she got that information from Waverly, who knows Nicole is supposed to be resting -

"Is everything okay?"

Wynonna makes no effort to hide her survey of the interior. The unwashed dishes, the digital display on the microwave with the time all wrong, the dimly lit living area, the darkened phone dropped on the table.

"Is Waverly...?"

"What? No, Waves is Waves. Fine as any of us are gonna be."

"So this is..." Nicole is tired all of a sudden, waiting for her guest to fill in the blank.

"So this is your place, huh? Nice. It looks... cozy. Is that KT Tunstall?"

Wynonna doesn't have a bottle in hand, but that doesn't rule out the possibility that she's been drinking. She doesn't look at Nicole, not directly. She doesn't take off her coat. She doesn’t fidget, but she’s using that exaggeratedly casual manner that she adopts when she’s uncomfortable.

“Earp, why are you here? I know it’s not to check out the decor.”

“You got shot. My sister shot you. I can come check up on you, can’t I?” Wynonna’s gaze flickers over Nicole before darting away, but her grimace remains.

“Not right now, you can’t. I told Waverly not to, either.”

“Yeah.” Wynonna clears her throat and at least stills her feet. Her drumming fingers catch on the back of one of the chairs at the table. “About that.”

Nicole closes her eyes instead of rolling them. She doesn’t count to ten, but she does hook her thumbs into the pockets of her jeans.

“...are you okay?”

The genuine concern catches her off-guard. The gentleness says this isn’t about the bullet to the chest. “Am I?”

“Look.” Wynonna clears her throat again. She tosses her hair back and bares her teeth at the ceiling briefly. Her smile is anything but steady. “I know what it’s like. To be the side piece. You know, to not be introduced as the girlfriend. I’m not saying Waverly is using you. I just mean, I get it. It stings. Hearing it out loud.”

Even just a short laugh makes the pain blossom. “Wynonna...” Nicole shakes her head. “No offense, but this isn’t my first time being the experiment. You get used to being ambiguous. You get used to it.”

With the shift in confrontation, Wynonna finally levels her with a steady, knowing look. There’s something like pity in her eyes. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. And it does, right? ’cause you let me in but you’re avoiding her.”

“I’m not avoiding,” Nicole retorts. The sharpness sounds defensive, and maybe it is, but she won’t give in just yet. “It’s different when someone is questioning their sexuality, not just in it for the sex.”

Wynonna cocks a finger gun at her and makes a clicking noise out the corner of her mouth. “When you think you know what you’re about, but the other person isn’t on the same page.”

Nicole presses her lips into a thin line, trying to keep the corners from turning down. She looks to the living area, softer with its shadows than the kitchen with its overhead lights. 

“Yep,” Wynonna says quietly, confirming for the both of them. “Want to drink about it?”

Nicole considers. Her eyes hurt. Her head hurts. “Not tonight.”

Wynonna comes around the table to the refrigerator, popping the seal to look inside. She doesn’t acknowledge her own hand pressed against Nicole’s arm. “Right, well, I’m gonna. I got no problem drinking enough for both of us.”

Her palm, her fingers are strong and warm, assured and steady. Gentle and comforting. The ache in Nicole’s chest, in the muscle below the bruising, flares in response. Nicole reaches up, clasping Wynonna’s hand before pulling away. “Let me get you something stronger,” she agrees.


End file.
